Some say today's women can have it all: thriving kids, successful career, healthy marriage, clean house, a close circle of friends and still manage to get a pedicure every once in a while. I'm only 5 months into this thing called motherhood, but I have to say, I call bullshit. There are only 24 hours in the day, and even though 8 hours of sleep is a long-lost memory, I don't know how these superwomen do it all.
If you can, (some of my best friends seem to be doing a hell of a good job at it) I give you props and then some. But I am throwing in the towel on being able to "have it all" and with my stomach in knots, am saying goodbye to what once looked like a very promising career. Today is my last day on the job.
For the past 3 months I've only worked part time, which I felt like I could balance well and still maintain my sanity. What I didn't account for was having to pay a sitter more than I would end up making and being stuck in a position that did nothing to satisfy my aspirations but was all that made sense for the "part-time person." I guess I'm young enough and naïve enough to not be ok with mediocre. I only want great. And I think my full time career could have been that. It could have been great. But what I have now in Forrest is amazing, and if I can't do both, I wholeheartedly choose him. It's just, well... I feel like a little part of me is dying today and if I start crying right here at my desk on my last day of my "career," I hope the world understands. I've worked on my profession for over a decade, and I only worked on creating Forrest for 9 months.
I bet some people think I'm an awful woman right now...
There's a song out there with the lyrics, "In the blink of an eye; Seems like minutes as the years fly by... Afraid to stop because you can't stop time." I know that Forrest will grow up so fast, and when it's all said and done, I don't think I will ever regret leaving a promising full time career behind to be present with him every day. I am trading in business development meetings for play dates, pencil skirts for spit-up soaked t-shirts, and challenging DoD solicitations for Mother Goose and Curious George. I am trading in a comfortable income and some nice discretionary spending for a real tightening of the proverbial belt. But I really feel like I'm doing the right thing. I want to be with him -- to be wholly present and to be... his. It's just . . . I feel like I'm going through an identity crisis.
Today is my last day on the job. And tomorrow I may cry a little for what is past, but then I will scoop my beautiful little boy up and cuddle him as if my life depends on it. Because it might.
If you can, (some of my best friends seem to be doing a hell of a good job at it) I give you props and then some. But I am throwing in the towel on being able to "have it all" and with my stomach in knots, am saying goodbye to what once looked like a very promising career. Today is my last day on the job.
For the past 3 months I've only worked part time, which I felt like I could balance well and still maintain my sanity. What I didn't account for was having to pay a sitter more than I would end up making and being stuck in a position that did nothing to satisfy my aspirations but was all that made sense for the "part-time person." I guess I'm young enough and naïve enough to not be ok with mediocre. I only want great. And I think my full time career could have been that. It could have been great. But what I have now in Forrest is amazing, and if I can't do both, I wholeheartedly choose him. It's just, well... I feel like a little part of me is dying today and if I start crying right here at my desk on my last day of my "career," I hope the world understands. I've worked on my profession for over a decade, and I only worked on creating Forrest for 9 months.
I bet some people think I'm an awful woman right now...
There's a song out there with the lyrics, "In the blink of an eye; Seems like minutes as the years fly by... Afraid to stop because you can't stop time." I know that Forrest will grow up so fast, and when it's all said and done, I don't think I will ever regret leaving a promising full time career behind to be present with him every day. I am trading in business development meetings for play dates, pencil skirts for spit-up soaked t-shirts, and challenging DoD solicitations for Mother Goose and Curious George. I am trading in a comfortable income and some nice discretionary spending for a real tightening of the proverbial belt. But I really feel like I'm doing the right thing. I want to be with him -- to be wholly present and to be... his. It's just . . . I feel like I'm going through an identity crisis.
Today is my last day on the job. And tomorrow I may cry a little for what is past, but then I will scoop my beautiful little boy up and cuddle him as if my life depends on it. Because it might.